Falling For Mr. Dark & Dangerous Page 5

  But the truth was she could do it. She used to snowshoe a lot. First she’d taught Mike when he’d lived with her in Sundre. Then she’d met Tom and she’d gotten pregnant, and they’d married and moved here. That first winter they’d gone on long jaunts with Mike and Jen in a baby backpack.

  She turned away, closing the shed door and putting the lock back on it. She hadn’t realized what she’d had, and had squandered so much time asking what if. By the time the truth hit her, Tom was gone and she was left alone again. Only this time with the responsibility of a teenage foster child and a baby.

  Nate jogged back to her, leaving gigantic bird-shaped tracks behind him in the snow. “Thanks for this. It’s going to be fun wandering around.”

  “You’re welcome. You can leave the skis and stuff on the porch, and bring the boots inside.”

  “Maggie?”

  She looked up at him. His green-blue eyes pierced her. “Are you sure you’re okay with me using these? You’re quiet all of a sudden. I don’t want to intrude, really.”

  “It’s not that. They’re not doing anyone any good locked up in there. Don’t worry about it.” She tried to muster a cheerful smile. “I’m going to make a light lunch before I have to take Jen to the bus station.”

  “You’re going to miss her.” His voice was quiet in the winter stillness.

  “Yeah. I am. Even though we fight like cats and dogs. Still…I think she’s better off where she is.”

  She knew Jen was. The last thing she needed was being back home all the time. She’d get bored and want to go out with friends, and get mixed up with the wrong people again. Maggie had been able to bail her out last time. That wouldn’t work again. As lonely as it was without her, she knew she’d made the right decision, getting her into a school there.

  “Anyway, she’s got to go back so I’m going to do the proper mother thing and ply her with food and a care package.” She tried a smile but it fell completely flat.

  Nate bent to take off the snowshoes. “You might not think she appreciates it now, but she does. And once she’s grown up she might even tell you about it.”

  Maggie had her doubts. “Are you close with your parents?”

  She grabbed the skis and poles while Nate carried the snowshoes and boots and they walked slowly to the house.

  “Yes, I am. I have a brother and a sister who chose nice, safe professions, and me, who picked the military and then law enforcement. I know my mom worries. But you know, even when I was overseas, she still sent care packages. The one thing about living in Florida and having them up north is not seeing them as often as I’d like.”

  “It sounds as though you had a perfect childhood.”

  “I suppose, although I’d probably just call it normal.”

  Maggie swallowed. Nate would never understand her life. He’d had brothers and sisters and two parents and he still had them. This whole family system in place, even if they were miles apart. The only family she had now was Mike and Jen.

  “What about you, Maggie? Where are your parents?”

  Maggie climbed the steps to the veranda and leaned the skis against the wall. She put her hand on the doorknob but paused, knowing he was behind her waiting for an answer.

  “In a plot next to my husband,” she replied tonelessly, before turning the knob and going inside.

  CHAPTER FOUR

  THE restaurant was nearly empty, and when Maggie walked in she was surprised to see Nate sitting at a table with Grant Simms. She caught her breath and held it for a moment. Grant wasn’t a bad sort, he just knew things. Things she would rather Nate not find out.

  She wondered briefly why they were together, but then realized it was natural that enforcement types would gravitate to each other. Nate had probably seen Grant come in and looked for some company. Lord knew she wasn’t the best conversationalist today.

  Nate turned toward the door as she came in and his eyes lit, the intimate look warming her. She smiled back despite her misgivings. There was a magnetism—a pull—that she would never admit aloud but couldn’t deny to herself. A feeling so unexpected, unfamiliar in its long absence. She couldn’t bring herself to feel sorry about the attraction rising up now. It provided a welcome distraction. The alternative was going home to an empty, quiet house. A reminder of how lonely she was when Jen was gone. A taste of how it would be when Jen moved on with her own life and Maggie would be left alone.

  She pulled off her gloves and approached the table.

  “Jen get off okay?”

  “Yes, the bus is gone.” His words brought her firmly out of the moment and back to the very real present. She nearly choked on her reply, swallowed against the sudden tightening in her throat as she said the word “gone.” Saying goodbye had been emotional to put it lightly. She hated watching Jen go away, hated the helpless feeling that flooded her every time she left. Hated the fear that somehow this could be the last time. In her head she knew it was irrational, but her heart didn’t quite get it. Knowing Jen was out of her sight frightened her more than she’d ever admit.

  But she said nothing, because Nate didn’t need to know, and besides, he wasn’t alone. Her eyes skittered to his companion.

  His gaze followed hers and he performed introductions. “Maggie, this is Grant Simms.”

  “Constable Simms.” She held out her hand, surprised when the man rose politely and took it.

  “Nice to see you, Maggie. Nate tells me you’re treating him well.”

  “Well, as the only guest, I don’t have to play favorites, it’s true.”

  “You know each other.” Nate looked from one to the other.

  “It’s a small town, Nate.” Grant laughed lightly, but it sounded false to Maggie.

  Maggie forced the smile to remain on her lips. In another time she might have liked Grant. He was in his mid-forties, handsome in a crisp, efficient sort of way. But last summer when they’d met it had been in less pleasant circumstances that she’d rather forget. She commented out of politeness only.

  “And now you two have met.”

  “Grant and I attended a conference in Toronto together a few years ago,” Nate explained. “We’ve been catching up.”

  The two men exchanged a look. Maggie narrowed her eyes. They knew each other before today, then. It was just a crazy coincidence that they’d met up here. How much had Grant told him about her, about Jen? What would Nate think?

  Grant Simms was part of the reason why Maggie had been so persistent in Jen going away to school. She knew she should feel gratitude. Things could have been so much worse. But today of all days, it was a bitter reminder of how much she missed the girl she’d known; how far apart she and Jen had grown that it had come to this. Regrets.

  A waitress appeared, bearing a coffeepot. “Sit down, Maggie,” Nate invited. “Have a coffee.”

  She didn’t see a way to properly refuse, besides, she was suddenly feeling quite raw. She took the chair Nate held out, sat gratefully.

  “Cream?”

  He held out the saucer containing tiny plastic cups of creamer. She took two, biting her lip as her fingers began to tremble.

  The waitress filled her mug while she struggled with the tab on the creamer. It finally peeled back, but by this time her hands were shaking so badly she jostled the cup as she went to pour, sloshing coffee over the edge and on to the table, staining the cloth.

  “Oh, how clumsy of me!” She blinked furiously, out of humiliation and sheer emotionalism. Why couldn’t this get any easier? It should get better each time. Instead it was always the same. She functioned through goodbye and then fell spectacularly apart later. Why couldn’t she have made it another hour so she could do it in private, instead of in front of the two men she’d least want to witness it?

  “It’s okay, Maggie. I’ve got it.” Nate dabbed at the spilled coffee, making her feel even more foolish.

  She tried to catch her breath. It would be fine. Jen’s bus would drive into Edmonton and she’d go back to campus and her dor
m room and in two months she’d be home for summer break. They’d get back to how things were. They could do it, she knew it in her heart. She’d seen glimpses of it today. Her fears were groundless.

  Only they weren’t. Silly, perhaps, but not groundless. Life could change on a dime.

  “Are you okay?”

  Nate’s voice murmured into her ear, low enough that no one could hear. His warm breath tickled the hair behind her earlobe and she focused on inhaling and exhaling. When she opened her eyes, Grant had gone to see the waitress about a towel and fresh coffee.

  Maggie looked at Simms’s retreating back and then up into Nate’s concerned eyes. She wished he didn’t see so much, it made her feel naked. “I’m fine. I just want to go home, if that’s all right with you.”

  Nate dug in his wallet and dropped a bill on the table as Grant came back with a tea towel in his hand. “Grant, I think we’re going to be off. It was nice to see you again.” He held out his hand and the other officer shook it.

  “Give me a call while you’re around, Nate. We should shoot some pool or something.”

  “Will do. See you later.”

  “Nice to see you, Maggie.”

  He was friendly looking and polite but there was something in the other man’s eyes she didn’t quite trust. He knew. Had he shared that information with Nate after all?

  Her response came out frosty. “You, too.” She could feel Nate’s hand, warm and reassuring against her back. She tipped her lips up in a perfunctory smile.

  “Let’s go then.”

  They were almost to the truck when Nate’s rough voice stopped her progress. “Hey, Maggie? Why don’t you let me drive back?”

  She stopped and turned. He’d pulled his collar up in an attempt to keep some warmth close to his ears, but they turned pink in the frigid air. She wished again that she didn’t find him so attractive, especially now when she knew she was raw and vulnerable. His clipped hair, straight bearing and sheer size didn’t intimidate her, not at all. She was drawn to it. It was the oddest thing. She’d never gone for the clean-cut, military type before. There was something about them she didn’t trust. Whether it was because of past history or simply knowing how dangerous their lives were, Maggie had never gravitated toward that type of man.

  But with Nate, even after a few short hours, there was a constant curiosity that took her by surprise. Knowing there was much more to him than met the eye and wondering what it could be; wanting to dig below the surface to find out what mattered to Nate Griffith.

  “You want to drive my old beater? Why?”

  He laughed, the masculine sound turning her knees to jelly. He had a strong, rich laugh, one that rippled. “I’d hardly call it a beater. But…sorry, it’s a guy thing. I feel kind of weird having you chauffeur me around.”

  “It’s okay. Consider it part of the vacation treatment.” It was tempting to let him drive. Her hands were still shaking and she was thankful he’d gotten her out of the restaurant so quickly. But over the years she’d handled everything thrown her way on her own. Knew she could. It was the one thing she was sure of. The last thing she needed was to let him see how fragile she was. “I can drive.”

  He stopped her at the driver’s side door. “Please, Maggie. You were trembling in there.” His hands turned her gently so she was facing him, blocked from the wind by his massive body. “Saying goodbye to Jennifer didn’t go well, did it?”

  He was hard to resist when he looked down at her with obvious concern. When was the last time anyone had been concerned about her? The relief of it was almost enough to make her want to sag against his body and let him carry a little of the burden. But that was ridiculous. He was a virtual stranger.

  “It never does. It’s just a parent’s worry.”

  “Worry to the point of shaking, and turning white as a sheet?”

  She swallowed. She hadn’t realized it was that obvious. Somehow saying goodbye set off a reaction every time, but she hadn’t realized it showed so very much. She got the feeling he’d keep up the inquisition, and she tried a plain answer, hoping it would stop him from prying more.

  “I’ve lost a lot of people in my life, Nate. Sometimes it hits even though it’s been a long time. Saying goodbye…” She took a big breath. Met his eyes and said it all at once. “Saying goodbye triggers a lot of those old feelings of panic. It’ll pass. It always does.”

  “Then you worry about decompressing and I’ll worry about the road. This once.” He held out his hand, unsmiling, simply waiting.

  She took the keys from her pocket and placed them into his hand. He was steady, she already got that. His warm fingers closed over hers.

  “Maggie, she’ll be fine. She’s a good kid.”

  Grant must have kept quiet then. Nate wouldn’t have said such a thing if he knew about her arrest last year. A tiny sliver of relief threaded through her.

  They got in the truck and he started the ignition. Maggie reached over and cranked up the heater, trying to halt the chills that wouldn’t seem to stop shaking her body.

  “You want to talk about it, Maggie?” He pulled out of the parking lot, watching her from the corner of his eye.

  Her smile wavered a little. Did she? Perhaps. Maybe it would be nice to talk to someone who didn’t know everything, who didn’t look at her like that widow that never remarried. Too many people here knew her past. But she’d kept it all inside for so long she wasn’t comfortable delving too deeply.

  “I’m fine. It’s just…” Her eyes held his as he waited before putting the truck in gear. “I can’t protect her when she’s away. But she’s eighteen. It’s right for her to be where she is.”

  “All moms worry. It’s part of the job description.” Nate smiled again and she felt it spread over her. He turned on to the highway, leaning back in the seat and resting a hand comfortably on the steering wheel. “But I get the feeling there’s more to it than that.”

  Maggie stared out the window. Her relationship with Jen was so complicated. It had been easier when Jennifer had been small, and life had been simple. But Jen had grown up, wanted her independence. Didn’t understand Maggie’s need to keep her sheltered and fought her every step of the way. Without Nate understanding that, she didn’t think he could understand how much a simple hug of farewell and “I love you” meant. She didn’t have anyone to talk to about it and appreciated the impartial ear.

  “Jen and I don’t often see eye to eye. But today…today was different.”

  “How so?”

  “I didn’t get the level of hostility I normally do. We talked about summer vacation. It was…nice. But it felt…”

  The sense of panic settled in her gut again and she pursed her lips.

  “It felt?”

  She was glad his eyes were on the road so he didn’t see the tears flickering on her lashes. “It felt like goodbye. Like making peace. And it scared the hell out of me.”

  She sighed when he didn’t answer. “I know. It’s a fatalistic approach and it sucks.”

  He laughed. “Well, you’re very self-aware.”

  Tension drained out of her at the sound of his chuckle. Telling him had been good. She’d stopped confiding in her friends long ago. The last thing she wanted to do was bore them to tears about the fears that never quite went away. She’d picked up her life and made something of it. She had a successful business, was a mother. It didn’t make sense to most of them that she still had issues. Besides, she wanted people to forget about Jen’s troubles, and talking about it wouldn’t help at all. But Nate was safe. In the overall scheme of things, it would be forgotten soon enough, when he was gone.

  “I’m hungry. Let’s stop at the store.”

  “The store?”

  “Up here.” She pointed to the turnoff. “I’ll pick up something special for dinner.”

  “You got it.” He followed her directions, pulling into a parking space and killing the engine.

  Nate hopped out of the cab and trotted over to her side before s
he could blink. He opened her door and she slid out, self-conscious at his solicitude.

  They stood there for long seconds. Nate’s heart thudded erratically at the continued closeness, the same feeling he’d had this morning when she’d kneeled to strap on the snowshoes. She’d trusted him today, and lately trust had been in short supply. The more he talked with her the more he realized it couldn’t have been easy. Not for a self-sufficient woman like her. As the pieces started to come together, he could understand how putting her kid on a bus today was a big event.

  “Nate, I…” She paused, looking up at him. Her eyes were blue, the color of the Atlantic on a clear day and her lips were parted as she paused, seeming to search for words. For a fleeting second he thought about putting his lips against hers just to see what would happen. If the need he felt stirring for her was real or imagined. If the warmth of her mouth would take away some of his own misgivings, as well as appease some of her own.

  But that would hardly be fair, so he waited for her to finish what she was saying.

  The silence drew out, until he prompted her with “You…”

  She blinked slowly. He wasn’t imagining it, then. There was some sort of a connection between them. It hadn’t just been the candlelight at dinner last night.

  She cleared her throat. “I was just going to ask if you’d like to rent a movie after. There’s a video store in Sundre. It’s not far.”

  If he were home he’d work out or read, or flip through TV channels much as he had last night. It was different now. They would need something to fill the time. To keep him from thinking about how pretty she looked or how she kept him from feeling lonely. They would be alone together. It would be getting dark, there would be dinner with just the two of them and a long evening stretching before them. They’d only be fooling themselves now, insisting it was a hostess-guest relationship. Something more had been forged between them today. A movie would be just the thing to quell the silly urge to spend the evening with her in his arms.

  “That might be nice.”